“It drives me crazy that my usually feminine presentation leads to people questioning if I am sufficiently queer… I identify so strongly as radically, deeply queer, and it hurts so much when I feel rejected by my community for not being dykey enough.”—
There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right And it comes in black and it comes in white And I’m frightened by those who don’t see it
When nothing is old, deserved or expected And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected If you’re loved by someone you’re never rejected Decide what to be and go be it
There was a dream One day I could see it Like a bird in a cage a broke in and demanded that somebody free it And there was a kid, with a head full of doubt So I scream till I die and don’t ask for those bad thoughts to find me out
There’s a darkness upon you that’s flooded in light In the fine print they tell you what’s wrong and what’s right And it flies by day and it flies by night And I’m frightened by those who don’t see it
I HATE that I feel like I’m always wishing my life away. This month has been brutal though, and I’m so ready for it to be over. I haven’t felt this stressed out since January; it’s taking a huge tole on my body and my health. I’m trying to be present and to slow down for the good things, and to realize that the bad things will pass and that I’m sure, as always, I’ll learn something big from it all.
Unfortunately, even Americans accept the concept of “the opposite sex,” which is a terrible misnomer (I think “the other sex” works just fine). Too many people relate to each other as “men” or “women” rather than as George or Maria. When George doesn’t ask for directions when lost it isn’t because he’s a man, it’s because he’s a proud jerk. When Maria gossips too much it isn’t because she’s a woman, it’s because she has low-self esteem, or feels unable to express hostility.
If men and women thought of their sexual partners as persons more than as male or female, there’d be less questions about what men or women want in bed, and more questions about what Jose or Jing want. And that would lead to better sex for everyone.
“I didn’t need my chest to look like I had a Y chromosome to match the other guys’. What I needed at that point was for my chest to obey me for once. My binder helped me to announce something to myself and to anyone who looked at me. It did not announce, “These breasts are not here,” because binder or not, my boobs were too large to be unnoticeable. It announced, “These breasts are not a part of this body.”
Binding was the first thing I ever decided to do to my body purely for my own benefit. Binding was the first thing I ever did to my body to make my body feel like my body. Purely for my own comfort and recognition. Purely for the way it made me feel. I think it was beautiful.”—